Tuesday, August 1, 2017

Right Life

Today's day 5 on the topiramate/bupropion combo, and I have to say the side effects have generally been minimal and not unpleasant. Except for the weird dreams.

Star Wars Luke Skywalker putting Yoda to sleep.
Strange things happen when I go to sleep these days. 
Last night, a nice gentleman named Vlad showed me how they made blue breastplates at Epcot's Norway pavilion for Disney's army. Two nights ago, OJ Simpson was running for mayor of St. Petersburg, which I hope is not prophetic considering we do have a mayoral election coming up, OJ's daughter lives here, and he did mention living in Florida once he gets out of prison.

Speaking of living in Florida, I've lived here since July of 2015. When I first got here, I felt like I was finally living my "right life"... no more commuting, more time to dedicate to running and my other passions, and - yes, still feeling pressure to perform at work - but pressure I could alleviate with a quick look out of my bayview balcony. (I temporarily lived in a condo overlooking Tampa Bay when I first got here. So awesome.) Well, here I am two years later, and I'm not really feeling that "right life" feeling anymore.

Surely, I'm missing my waterfront property. 

Ok, I know it's more than that. I really think I'm just not in the right line of work anymore. I've been in my role for 4.5 years, with my company for about 10. But I'm afraid to look elsewhere. I do love my company and there are plenty of reasons to stay with them, but I think it may be impossible to land another job with my company as a remote worker, and moving back north is not an option for me right now. 

Besides, I really love working from home. I can think clearly. I can be here to let in contractors when needed. I can do other things with my life besides drive myself to and from work. Yet I believe it is going to be very difficult to land another work-from-home job, and this article agrees with me

And yet I fear I might be forced to look elsewhere in the coming months. 

All signs point to the fact I should find a new role that gives my life meaning and purpose, especially as this month I will enter my late 30's which is mid-life crisis territory. But I hesitate because I'm not sure the benefits of finding meaningful work outweigh the stress of having an office-based job again. 

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