I'm trying to take some time to enjoy this week. I just remember the constant feeling of wonder and excitement this time of year used to bring about in my early childhood - before my parents' divorce, of course. Trick or treating. Thanksgivings at home with Mom and Dad. My grandparents driving all the way up to New Jersey from Florida to spend time with me. So awesome.
I don't know what it is about my childhood that I can't let go. I've certainly spent more of my life without the wonder than with it at this point.
I read something about procrastination (it ties into this, I promise) - that procrastinators put things off because there's pain associated with the thing that we don't want to do. But procrastinators treat life as if there's an endless supply of time. And by putting something off, we're causing ourselves the greatest pain - loss of time.
SO here's what this has to do with my childhood. I put off committing to healthier habits because I associate things like pumpkin pie and gingerbread with this time of year. I must indulge in order to try to recapture that childhood wonder. I can always commit after the holidays, right?
But it's just that sentiment that keeps me in a body I'm unhappy with. So many things are causing me pain here - avoiding the indulgence causes me severe Christmas FOMO. But submitting to temptation is just another reason I'm unable to run a sub 2 half marathon.
The solution is obvious - the sooner I realize that food isn't going to make me feel like Santa Claus is bringing me a Nintendo and a puppy, the happier I'm going to be.