Sunday, May 8, 2016

For Four Moms

I'm one mom short this year on Mother's Day. Stupid melanoma. You are supposed to be one of the least lethal cancers. Why'd you have to take my stepmom?

Before the events of the last month, I'd always joke about having four moms. Both my husband and I are children of divorce - and subsequent remarriages - so that's four moms and their high expectations I need to live up to. Four moms that want grandbabies, damn it.  Four moms that all raise their eyebrows in the same way when I talk about my latest hardcore fitness regimen.

Holidays always created tremendous anxiety because I knew we'd be disappointing three out of four families - we just couldn't make it to see everybody since they were so spread out over three states. But come on, Moms. Is our presence really all that exciting?

I thought moving to Florida might give us a free pass from holiday guilt, but nope. I think we lost some brownie points for trying to escape.

Planning a wedding with four moms? I was just glad to have enough room on the guest list for my own friends. And having all four in the same room at once? The thought caused me so much anxiety, I almost gave up on the very idea of marriage.

But I'm glad I didn't. Because having four moms is also so, so awesome.

A healthy wedding day with a healthy family
Especially when they behave themselves for my benefit. I never thought THIS - stepmom, father, me, and mother... smiling even - would EVER be a photo.
My mother-in-law, with her counseling background, is SO easy to talk to. My stepmother-in-law knows a ton about health, and shares my own preference for life in the warm, sunny south. My stepmother got to know me as well as my own mother did, and treated me as the daughter she always wanted. And as for my own mother, her generosity knows no bounds. I get all of the nurturing, guidance, and support that only a mother can provide... times four.

Well, I guess times three now.

When I found out how sick Becky was and needed to return to NJ right away, my own mother immediately jumped in to let me know I could be with my father as long as I needed to - she'd take care of my pets, my plants, and my house. My nearest in-laws drove over an hour in traffic to be with my family for the wake, and my distant in-laws texted me every day and sent flowers to my dad.

So while I grieve for the loss of my stepmom this Mother's Day, I also find great comfort in remembering that I was... and still am... so lucky to have had these four women in my life.

Happy Mother's Day to all the awesome moms out there.


  1. This is so beautiful <3
    The older I get the more complicated I see mothers day is and the more I TREASURE being a mom yet still having my mom *here*

  2. Thank you Carla. I hope your Mother's Day was special!