30 days of painstaking effort adhering to an uber-clean diet for the purpose of self-experimentation... all for naught. Gone in a moment of weakness around flour and sugar last night.
My post whole 30 reintroduction plan is ruined - it's going to be hard to judge the impact of non-gluten grains and dairy now that I've ingested all kinds of inflammation-causing crap. And I had a less than stellar run this morning because of it.
So what do I do now?
I think of everything I'd normally do in this situation... and then do the opposite. This was the strategy I laid out for myself when I last crashed and burned in December, and had some success with it.
Old Nicole: Breaks down and wonders why the hell I'm so messed up.
Changed Nicole: Still breaks down but only momentarily... then realizes this is probably a lifelong battle for me and mistakes are gonna be made.
Old Nicole: Compares myself to others and gets incredibly envious of their successes.
Changed Nicole: Knows the only person I can compare myself to is the person I was yesterday.
Old Nicole: Looks at this failure and says "Well, I've got family visiting over the next few weeks, Disney trips, vacation.. It's too hard to do it right now. I'll get healthier when everything settles down."
Changed Nicole: Looks at what happened not as failure - and knows that every choice I make from here on out is another opportunity to do right by myself.
The only thing to do now is to go right back to doing what I know makes me feel healthy. I can not do another Whole 30 - incorporating some gluten-free grains is actually an important part of my race strategy, so I need to start reintroducing those now. But from here on out, every choice I make is one that will be a conscious choice - for my health and sanity - that I can feel good about.
Today's exercise: 6 mile run