Wednesday, February 17, 2016

Chewie, get us out of here

I am not having luck with my monthly massages as of late.

Today's experience was particularly disappointing because I woke up feeling sore this morning, so I was really looking forward to getting some help with that this evening. Between sore legs and not sleeping as well last night, I decided to skip this morning's planned run.

My therapist was a guy. Again. I'm just not nearly as comfortable with this scenario as I am with a female therapist for reasons I've listed here.

But - the last massage I had was good. Actually, all of my experiences with male therapists have been good.

This one broke the streak.

I've been "treating" myself to monthly massage for about five years now, and this one now holds the title of second worst.

My worst experience occurred last year when I had some pain in my right calf muscle and made the mistake of telling my therapist that. I don't remember how I injured myself, but I was hoping the massage would help. She used the opportunity to torture me instead. I don't even remember what she did - I think I may have blacked out from the pain. I know I was unable to walk for a few days afterward. I often wonder what I did that made her so angry with me.

So tonight's massage was almost as bad. I'm just not sure how much to write here because -  on the one hand - I find tonight's experience incredibly hilarious.

And on the other hand, I think everyone else in the world might judge my experience as incredibly creepy.

But I'm an open book. So here are some of the highlights:

  1. He started out by letting me know he was hearing impaired. Good to know, but it definitely made me anxious. I always feel just slightly less vulnerable when I'm laying face down half-naked on the table knowing that I can communicate with my therapist if anything doesn't feel good. Wasn't sure how I was going to do that if he couldn't hear me...
  2. I'm super ticklish, but I would say 9 out of 10 massage therapists I've had are good at avoiding the sensitive spots. And I get totally mortified when it does happen. Somehow, this guy managed to find all of my ticklish areas.
  3. I think he might have been playing "This Little Piggy" with my toes. I really almost burst out laughing at this point because the whole thing was just so ridiculous.
  4. He asked me if it was ok to massage my glutes. 
Star Wars Han Solo giving Luke a pointed look.
No. No, it's definitely not ok. So glad you asked first, though.

Anyway, after it was all over (and trust me, it did not end fast enough), he let me know I was in good shape. Thanks buddy. I like hearing that, really I do, but it's just kind of a weird thing for you to say right now.

I haven't been one to really care about credentials, certification, etc. before... but maybe it's time to start.

And so, I think with this experience, my days of using Groupon/Living Social/etc. for massage are over. I'll need to find another way to work massage into my budget using a therapist I know and trust.

59 days left.

Today's Exercise: Rest

3 eggs with spinach, BP mochaTuna salad, TJs Kraut2 HB eggs, pumpkin seeds, 2 tbsp almond butterChicken apple sausage, spinach

1 comment :

  1. I haven't had a massage yet but I agree that does sound creepy. Loved the part about the "This Little Piggy" how weird! :)