Monday, December 21, 2015

Anticlimax

So that sweet potato I was so worried about? Yeah, it was a nonevent.

I was expecting two things to happen that didn't - a downward spiral back into crazy cravings land (boo) and finally sleeping through the night after 15 days of 4am wake-up calls (yay).

Neither happened.

Frankly, I feel a little let down.
Still gonna stay the course, though. At least until Friday - I haven't quite figured out what I'm going to do about Christmas. We're going to the most decadent holiday buffet at this glorious pink castle on the beach.

Do I turn to the Dark Side, put all of the hard work over the last few weeks aside, indulge in everything the holidays have to offer on this one special day, and hope that I can jump right back into following healthier eating habits the next day?

Or do I embrace the Light Side knowing that it's too soon to say that I'm cured, make choices that I know won't result in the binge monster rearing its ugly head, and finally end a cycle that's been dragging me down for years?

I don't know yet. I find it encouraging that I was even able to stick to the Two Week Test during this time of year. Pumpkin, peppermint, and gingerbread are way too intoxicating for me, and I could justify responding to their call - because these flavors are only available at this time of year... right?

This kind of thinking has been given a name: "Last Supper Syndrome." Basically, when you know something isn't going to be around for another year, the threat of deprivation sends you into a frenzy to get all you can right now. I think the thing that worked best for me about the TWT was that I knew, in the back of my mind, it was only for two weeks. Not a year, not forever - if I wanted a Gingerbread Latte when it was over, so be it.

The crazy thing is... now that I can have it... I don't really want it.

Strike that, I DO want it.

I just want to achieve my race goal more...

... and going back to the way I used to do things isn't going to get me there.

117 days left.

Today's Exercise:  Rest

Breakfast
Lunch
Snack
Dinner
3 Eggs, spinach, Coffee
Tuna Salad,
peppermint tea
WalnutsChili w/ guac, sweet potato

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